Posts Tagged ‘Half Dome’

We all climb mountains…more mental than physical, usually.  This past weekend I reminded myself what it’s like to climb a real mountain.  It’s hard!   There was lots of sweating and panting and determination and amazing views, and I did it.  I have wanted to climb Half Dome in Yosemite for many years and I have finally fulfilled that dream!

What did I learn?

  • I can do it!
  • Bring friends…it’s much more fun along the way and easier to laugh at the pain;
  • Just keep on going…one step after the other;
  • It’s an amazing view from the top.

Now I want to remind myself that these things are true for mental mountains too.  The mountains/dreams/desires/goals may be daunting, but they are reachable.  Really.

I’m back in San Francisco after two years living in Barcelona.  My mind and heart are bouncing all over the place.  Living in Barcelona with my family had been a long-standing dream of mine, since even before I had a family.

I spent a year and half there in my early twenties.  It was a place where I started to become me, where I stepped into myself in a new way.   These last two years have been a new stepping into myself.  And now I find myself back in San Francisco, unsure of what it all means.  I keep telling myself…just breathe.

I had a moment a few weeks ago when it dawned on me that I have lived my dream.  I took my family to Barcelona and we made a life there.  But now what?  Is being in San Francisco now my dream?  I’m not sure anymore and I’m feeling unmoored because of it.  But I tell myself…just breathe.  I don’t need to know this minute or this week, or even this month.  What I do need to do is get engaged with life here for as long as I am here.  And that’s what I’m working toward.

My first symbolic act of that is to do something I have always wanted to do in California.  It’s one of those “I’m not sure why I want to do this so badly, but I do” things.  I want to climb Half Dome in Yosemite.  And so I’m going to do it some time in September, after the summer crowds and before the snow.  I feel like if I can make this happen, then I won’t fall prey to doubts and complacency.  I imagine being in the Sierras and breathing in the mountain air as I go through things that have been in our attic for two years and wonder why we still have them, as I call Barcelona to cancel our cell phones, as I notice and feel the effect of having other people live in our house for two years, as I take in this new life.  Just breathe.